Hey loves, a lot of you have been with me on my journey for many years now, and as you know, I try to be as candid and real with you all as I possibly can. I strongly believe that I go through some things just so that I can turn around and help the next person through the same thing. And I also believe that it's important to be as real as possible so that someone else who may be struggling with something similar to what I am, and need to feel validated that they are not the only one. So here's some real life for ya.
Sometimes I forget that I'm a regular person. I spend so much time trying to be a superhero to my kids, a rock to my friends, a support system to my family, and a spiritual beacon to anyone who needs it, that I forget I'm just a regular everyday human being at the core. I have my own issues, past trauma I am still unpacking and working through, and a myriad of eccentricities and anxieties that have been constant in my life as far back as I can remember that I still don't fully understand.
I spent the majority of my life fighting the idea of therapy, for fear that once the therapist caught wind of my spiritual practices or the fact that I occasionally hear from the dead, I'd find myself locked up in a padded room for a minimum of 72 hours. The thought of being told I was insane and none of my life was real sent me into a full panic attack anytime I considered it.
About 6 months ago, with much prodding from my now-husband, I decided I would give therapy a try, but I would actively avoid disclosing anything about my beliefs or practices. I just wanted to give the therapist a base overview of me, and then specifically target the "normal people" issues I had that I needed to find better ways to deal with.
Two telehealth sessions in, and my adorable therapist stopped in the middle of the session and asked if I had ever heard the term "Empath". I remember blankly staring at her through the phone screen and asking, "Are you friggin kidding me right now?". She had me figured out almost immediately. I still held back, giving her only tidbits of confirmation of her suspicions, over several sessions, and only when it was pertinent to the other things we were discussing. Eventually, I felt safe enough that I wasn't going to be locked away, and came completely clean.
To have someone, whose job it is to diagnose and treat mental illness, tell me that I'm not insane, that my abilities make me more susceptible to be taken advantage of by narcissists and other energy "vampires" was a huge awakening for me. I have been advising so many people for so many years about the same exact thing, but never considered it for myself. I felt relieved, and embarrassed all at the same time.
I have always been an advocate of therapy, just not for myself. Now, after several months of having this wonderful, understanding person help me address, heal, and move on from past trauma and ways of thinking, I feel like a whole new person. Lighter, happier, and ready to kick the crap out anyone and anything that tries to knock me off of this bright path I'm on.
If you are looking for a way to help yourself feel better, heal from trauma, and change your way of thinking, I hope you look into some form of therapy for yourself as well. I recommend a resource I've found that has worked with my crazy life schedule and allowed me to stay safe in my home, during the pandemic. It's called Amwell, and they offer all forms of physical and mental health services online, through their website and their app, which you can get on Android or iPhone. They accept most insurances, the deductibles are low or even nonexistent, and appointments can be made nearly any time of day. I was even able to have telehealth therapy sessions at 8:30PM while my kids were sleeping!
At the end of the day, no matter how hard we have been working to be something for someone, we have to remember that we are people who deserve help and support too. So make sure you're taking care of your own mental health as well.
Love and hugs, Mama Em